I do think my downstairs neighbors are sweet little muffins, but they're annoying as shit sometimes. In the past 28 minutes they've knocked on my door five separate times even though I've told them - sternly - that they need to leave me alone because: Knock 1.) I'm tired and I need to rest, Knock 2.) I have to work, 3.) I have to work, 4.) I have to work, 5.) I have to kill myself if you don't leave me the hell alone. I feel rather guilty about about this since in those five knocks they have delivered my Christmas presents: Knock 1.) a green plastic duck, Knock 2.) a purple Hotwheels car (which incidentally had been among their Christmas presents given to them by Mono two days prior), 3.) a Hotwheels army tank (regift) and a green plastic wall sticker thing, 4.) a yellow Hotwheels (regift), 5.) three additional Hotwheels and a warning from me that I loved it all but fortheloveofgod do not knock again.

Oh my god, they're knocking as we speak, is this real life?

A bronze convertible Hotwheels with sand stuck to the windshield and a wompy front right wheel.

And now knock number seven. Max steel, that hunk you see at the top left. Also a regift and one that Angel has been talking about longingly for the last several weeks. I just texted Mono and I think his feelings are hurt.

Oh, look, here comes Papa Noel and his happy little duende. The carol we sang to invite them to join us at the Air Force holiday party has evidently worked because in their hands they drag a load of loot. I wonder what Papa Noel will bring me this year. Perhaps a dollhouse. Perhaps a kitchen set. Perhaps I will be stuck carrying around stinky boy shoes while they jump in the bounce house. But it's okay, I get candy, too. Only what is this candy? I am crying. It's so spicy. Quick wipe your tears with your stinky boy shoe. It's not so bad. Tomorrow will be worse. Your legs will be covered in bruises from wiggling children. Ever will tell you your boyfriend doesn't like you anymore and is leaving you for the girl from Transformers. "But I still love you, Mega." And then he will rub his grubby hand over your mouth. "But why Ever?"

"I'm cleaning him off of you."

This is another trick he will employ. "Mono, kiss my hand and I will pass it to her." In slow motion he will bring his hand over to your cheek before violently crushing the make-believe kiss in his fist. "I killed your kiss." Later when Mono tries to hold my hand Ever will snatch it away, claiming that he is cold, then shoot Mono a dirty look. Ever is the 6-year-old you see in the photo to the left and I think he and I need to have a conversation. As we speak he is banging on my apartment door.

A few big changes have been happening around here. Good for me but really, really shitty for some others. And it all comes down to what a jackass my boss is. Last weekend my friend Juliet from my university in Madrid emailed me asking if I knew whether there might be some job openings at my work for her and her boyfriend James. I forwarded their resumes over to Matejo and crossed my fingers that he would consider them maybe in a few months when/if Michelle moved on. Michelle has been visiting family in New Zealand for the last few months and is due to arrive in time for New Years, but I think partly her decision to come back had to do with her now ex-boyfriend, and I'm not sure that she'll return for a full year now, as she had initially intended.

It didn't work out like that. Matthew emailed me back to ask how soon they could be here. And as it turns out they can be here for the next semester - January 2. Now Juliet and James are arriving to Cozumel in 11 days. Donnamarie was fired this morning. Michelle received an email saying either she or Lizzie had to quit and if she didn't feel like coming back from New Zealand, there was no problem with that. Lizzie left on Thursday for Christmas in England, and upon her arrival was met with an email from Matejo saying he couldn't guarantee her many hours this coming semester and if she didn't want to come back, that would be fine (although all her shit is here). Lizzie is under the impression she still has a job, just with reduced hours (as was I). Michelle is under the impression that Lizzie does not have the job. I was under the impression that Lizzie's fired. Meanwhile these two new teachers arrive in two weeks, along with Michelle, Lizzie, and me, when currently we only have three teachers and that's all there seems to be a need for. Hmm.

I don't think my job is in danger (at this point) because Matthew I think knows my students like me, and Juliet - one of the new hires - is a very good friend of mine. But then again, he's psychotic, so who can really tell?

This is kind of worrisome.

But it's also kind of EXCELLENT that Juliet is coming!

Haven't written on here in awhile so just to set the context, we're talking about dumb shit I hear from students and/or non-native-English speakers.

Complete the sentence:

"My parents were .. sexing all night long." The person who wrote this is I think probably in his 30s.

In a note delivered to me at the end of the class:

"I'm sorry much because I'm ugly and lazy."

This one's actually potentially sweet unless he was referring to the apocalypse:

"My English teacher was teaching when .. fell a star."

Here's a particularly stupid one occurring in spanish: Mono was explaining to me that 'tontis' is a way to say the spanish word 'tonto' but in a way that is rosa. I didn't know what he meant by that because 'rosa' means pink or rose, so I asked him to explain, and his example was "Like Polly Pocket." (He meant, I gather, cutesy). For reference this conversation was in spanish but in response to that comment I said in English, "I was a collector."

"My cock?"

His English isn't exactly where it ought to be.

There's not really too much going on right now. The island's been overrun by tourists, at least during the day, but at night it's mostly calm with the travelers going back to the cruise ships and leaving port. This week marks the end of the semester thank god for my 4pm class that I despise and the following week marks the end for all the rest. Then it's break time for the holidays until January 1. The other day one of my students found out I hadn't decorated for Christmas and the next day she showed up with a Papa Noel to sit on my counter. I thought I was doing really well when I bought a string of lights at the grocery store, but they've since all collapsed and it's looking rather feeble I'm noticing as I see it now. Last year when I was in Malta for Christmas we didn't do much to acknowledge it. Most likely there was wine involved but that's true of most nights out anyway. It was cold(ish), though (upper 50s? 60s?). But we were also coming from Madrid where it was colder and you could imagine that it might be winter time. Here I'm adjusting to the stack of evergreens on sale near the grocery store, but not so much that I've found it appropriate to turn on Bing Crosby.

To my family: I looked at flights home and they're just outrageously bad, as in 20 hour trips with overnight layovers and whatnot. Not going to happen.

I haven't really decided what I'm going to do with that time off then. Maybe go to "civilization" - the mainland. Perhaps see about taking a bus down to Belize. Maybe I'll just save my money. Dunno. In April I'm going to Michoacán. I'm excited about it, I think it'll be cool to see that part of Mexico and cross through Mexico D.F. And look at this cool church. A long time ago the volcano that you see in the background erupted, burying the entire city

in lava so that only the steeple of the church remains. I love shit like that, don't you? I will be on the lookout for mummies. Michoacán is also home of the biggest celebration for Day of the Dead in Mexico, which is convenient since its murder rate is astronomical. (Just kidding, picturing your face, Ma).

As I was saying. I do have some Christmas antics up my sleeve. At the Air Force base there's a big party for the kids who live there and I'm bringing my neighbor boys. These three little guys, besides being unreasonably cute, are also sweet as pumpkins. I mean, yesterday Angel karate'd me in the face and bent my glasses about thirty degrees, but they mean well. I brought Ever to a football game today and on the way home we stopped to pick flowers off a tree, Ever to give them to his mama. Half way back I left my bunch on an ugly stretch of sidewalk so that, as I told Ever, someone else would find a surprise. Five minutes later when we got to the house he put his head down and stretched out his fist of blooms. "Toma." Take it. It's not exactly the most polite form of words as I believe with some imagination it stretches to Takethatyoubitch - for example when I used it yesterday on the Barcelona supporters at the bar (all of them), when Madrid scored in the first 22 seconds of the game. Nevertheless, at least I wasn't being karate'd.

If I had a point to my story it's that the boys get to come to the Christmas party, except Angel who is afraid of airplanes. Chucho will be there though, and this little guy breaks my heart because he's only 9 years old and he already has a job. He wasn't home last night until after I'd gone to bed, and he was gone again in the morning by the time I woke up. I don't know what he does for work, but wah.

As far as my own job situation goes, if Matthew is to be trusted (hahaha), I'll be starting work with the hospital here, arranging for medical tourism visits to the island from the states and Canada. Evidently there's a big industry for that here and the idea is that I'll get 10% of the cost of any operation for people who I book (anyone want a boob job)? They give us the leads though, so I just have to call them and be "pleasant". Hm. I'm not sure what I'll think of it and in any case it will be in addition to teaching, but maybe it will be worthwhile. Vamos a ver.

I guess that may be just about all I have to say about this silly little life of mine. Goodbye for now mis amorcitos. xoxo

...Oh wait, another sad news. I was feeling very connected to my mother when a week or two ago I discovered a psoriasis patch on my calf and left foot. Turned out to be ringworm, so, hm,