P.s. I was just looking at the Google search terms that led people to this blog. One lucky reader found it by searching: "dog licks extra large boobs." Sorry for calling you out.

This is my classroom, welcome. The kids alternate between calling it 'Megan's Kid Palace' and 'Megan's Coffee Palace.' Free coffee at work, what can I say. It's tiny but we squish in, and I like that outside the classroom is open to the outdoors. Often that means critters, but the kids have no fear of smashing possibly poisonous spiders with their shoes or bare hands, and then picking them up delicately between the fingers and transporting them to the garbage can outside. I try to think of the insects as learning opportunities. Yesterday the students were taking a test on Christopher Columbus but we took a break to crowd around and stare at a worm slug. Later I saw it smooshed across the floor so I guess someone didn't appreciate the educational value.

In more important and all-consuming news I've had an exploding head of allergies for the last several weeks and feel like I might scratch my face off if relief doesn't come soon. I went to the pharmacy an hour ago and bought Claritin for $1.20 and am currently waiting for it to take effect as I nurse myself with a bottle of Diet Coke. Share a Coca-cola with Gerson, it says. Do you know one? 

Mono suggested I apply alcohol to the skin. Won't that burn? Yes, yes it will. Mono has lots of interesting medical advice, like the time Nicole burned her arm and he advised that she have a dog lick it. A solution for every problem. I won't be trying the alcohol, though.

In other big news, Miley Cyrus is being fined approximately $1,270 for twerking against the Mexican flag at a concert in Monterrey. I'm sure she'll feel that one.